Why do you become obsessed with people you cannot stand?

When you can’t stand someone, it’s because you are seeing things about them that are also part of you. You wish to see them as separate, someone not like you.

But they are like you. The parts of them that you can’t stand are also aspects of yourself that you wish to hide from, not recognize.

You will stay obsessed until you recognize they are no different in emotions, just different in action. That you too possess undesirable qualities and that parts of yourself that are weak and afraid are also just like that person.

If you choose not to recognize this, you will become obsessed until you are like them, and then forced to recognize you are no different.

To referencer pop culture, remember the plot of Mean Girls?

Cady is obsessed with Regina until she becomes her, and begins to do terrible things. That is happening all the time on subtle scales. The trick is to take note, find where you identify with that person, recognize why it is so hurtful and why you hate it, and quell it within yourself so you don’t repeat that mistake.

Your acceptance of yourself allows you to accept them. And then you can finally stop being obsessed.